The early stages of a relationship are often the most difficult - both people are still getting to know one another, building trust, and determining what they want out of the relationship.

But they are also exciting and full of possibilities, with the opportunity to shape your journey and learn new things about yourself and the world.

For those looking to begin a mentor-mentee relationship, consider that the early stages will mirror any new relationship in your life — ripe with potential, full of discovery, and on occasion, awkward or challenging, exhibiting growing pains. But ultimately, it will be worth it — for both of you. According to a recent survey by CNBC and SurveyMonkey, 90 percent of workers who have a mentor report being happy in their jobs. Consistent, intentional mentoring relationships are also linked to better job performance, satisfaction, and retention.

If you're struggling to get a new mentorship relationship off the ground, here are a few steps I've found useful in building a solid foundation:

Define the relationship
This may sound basic, but ask yourself: Does my mentee know they're my mentee? When two individuals have a different view of the nature or seriousness of the relationship, there is bound to be confusion, miscommunication, and frustration. Just because you are someone's supervisor or manager doesn't make them your mentee. Just because someone is younger or has less professional experience than you don’t make them your mentee. On the flip side, you may have someone who views you as their mentor, but you don't know. Be mindful of this and don't be afraid to broach the conversation. That way, you can both discuss whether the relationship is a good fit and set reasonable expectations and outcomes. Determine what your mentee's career goals are and create structure around how the two of you will work together toward those goals.

Determine a regular cadence for check-ins
Many mentor-mentee relationships have an organic rhythm to them, particularly if you're working alongside one another in a professional setting. However, it's still important to set a regular meeting cadence. Especially at the beginning, you'll want your check-ins to be more frequent to expedite the time to get to know one another and build trust. Then, once the foundation is laid, you may adjust to a more intermittent schedule supplemented by ad hoc or "as needed" calls and meetings.

You'll also want to talk through preferred communications channels — our world is increasingly virtual, but there continues to be value to in-person meetings, especially when you're trying to build a relationship and provide real-time coaching. Most likely, you'll settle on a combination of in-person meetups, video chats, calls, and messages, but make sure it's the right mix and you're both committed to being responsive and present.

Be intentional about getting to know your mentee - personally and professionally
We tend to get tunnel vision and focus on one of these — either the personal or professional level. But to cultivate a healthy, productive mentor-mentee relationship, we must invest in both. Getting to know your mentee on a personal level will help you understand their motivations, ask probing questions, and offer guidance specific to their life and goals. It will also produce trust, and trust is key to giving productive feedback on their professional endeavors. We receive feedback better from people who we trust and are genuinely invested in our lives, because we know the motivation is to help and guide, not compete or belittle.

With that in mind, don't neglect to get to know your mentee on a professional level, particularly if you don't work directly with them. Become familiar with their workplace and other supervisors or colleagues. Demonstrate care by active listening — follow up if there is a challenge they are facing at work, offer to connect them with other resources, and coach them on how to look at other team members' viewpoints and motivations. Continue to check in on their goals and career aspirations and allow space for them to change their mind.

Be vulnerable about your growth
We never "arrive" in our careers — even if you've landed your dream job after decades of grind and hard work, you can still grow and improve. Being candid about your career peaks and valleys with your mentee will encourage them as they face their highs and lows. To see the person, you look up to humble enough to admit that they are still learning and growing gives you permission to do the same and receive feedback. On the flip side, the more you model vulnerability, the more empowered your mentee will be to practice vulnerability, which is vital to true growth.

If you're in the process of building a mentor-mentee relationship, don't be discouraged — it will take time for the dynamic to feel natural and mutually beneficial. Hold one another accountable too — if, after several months, the relationship isn't growing both of you or meeting your expectations, have those hard conversations and agree on whether you need to adjust your strategy or seek out different relationships. When it's working well, the relationship should serve both of you in your career goals and growth — and ultimately serve your teams, organization, and patients.

Ready to grow both personally and professionally? Take advantage of our exceptional mentorship program at Aspen Dental. Apply now to join our team and embark on a rewarding journey of learning and development!